Trust

I washed my last load of laundry today.  I don't have any more detergent and no money to buy any.  I felt a nudge ~ "You don't have have because you don't ask" So I asked right there.  "Lord, will you provide us with detergent to clean my family's clothes.  Either the money to buy some ourselves or with the detergent itself."

I gave the kids the last of the cereal today.  {Sigh} and a little fear for tomorrow.  Again, I felt the nudge ~ "You don't have because you don't ask"  Ok - I take a determined face and say out loud "Lord, you see our need. I know You'll meet it in your time."

This constant place of not really knowing.  not being able to do it myself.  not me.  How do you pick yourself up by your own bootstraps when you don't have any boots? Oh, I've got big plans! We'll have more piano lessons - but it's summer and they keep canceling on me.
We'll have a garage sale.  I'll keep you posted on that.

I am thinking - have I asked in faith? do I believe? Yes, I believe. I believe God can... but I'm not sure that He will. Truthfully, I don't know when that happened.  I've even heard people say that before, and I felt upset with them.  My entire life I trusted God with so much I never even thought something wouldn't happen.  Like a child asking her dad to blow the tire up on her bike or to get her a new pair of tennis shoes.  I have forgotten that I'm cherished to Him.

I'm not strong enough to hold on here.

And I've forgotten to let go.

The way I see it, we all like to think of ourselves as the heroes in the Bible - we fancy ourselves as brave and wise as Joseph or as humble and upstanding as Ruth.  It's a real blow when we realize we're more like the widow of Zarephath.  You know the one - Elijah asks her for a piece of bread, she replies something like "I don't have any bread.  I'm about to bake my last bit of flour so my son and I can eat it and then die."

Elijah must have thought "what?! who did you send me to, God?"

This is what I realized.  The Bible has so many personal stories.  God could have simply told us the generalities.  Here is what happened and when.  But instead He took the time to give us glimpses into many lives - many stories - many families.  You know what that means? that translates like this: God is interested in the individual's life.  God sees the big picture, but He is also looking at the sparrow, the flower, the lamb.  I don't know what will happen tomorrow.  We'll have breakfast in the morning and there are clean clothes in our closets.

God answers prayer
God answers prayer
God answers prayer
He's so good to me

He owns the cattle on a thousand hills

the wealth in every mine

He owns the rivers and the rocks and rills

the sun and stars that shine

Wonderful riches more than tongue can tell

He is my Father so they're mine as well

He owns the cattle on a thousand hills

I know that He will care for me

                      ~ John W. Peterson

Psalm 50:9-15
"I will not accept a bull from your house or goats from your folds.
for every beast of the forest is mine, the cattle on a thousand hills.
I know all the birds of the hills, and all that moves in the field is mine.
If I were hungry, I would not tell you, for the world and its fulness are mine.
Offer to God a sacrifice of thanksgiving, and perform your vows to the Most High,
And call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me."

I offer my sacrifice of thanksgiving.  It's meager.  I pray He is pleased with it.  We trust in the name of the Lord our God.