He was a great man!

"He was a great man!"

It would be nice if that could be said about people before they died, but usually we reserve that phrase for someone who's passed away.  I was trying to think of contemporary people we would consider to be "great men".  Even considering those who passed away this year, I don't know if I would consider any of them to be great -  and only a handful of them good.  The lives and attitude of Nancy Reagan and Debbie Reynolds came to mind.  Good ladies. Good people.  It makes me fearful that the age of "great men" is something the past.  I hope not.

There are three men in my life whom I would consider to be great men (and thankfully these guys are still alive 😉).  These men are not only experts in their own field, but also in other areas of interest.  Their brains are sharp.  They are thinkers.  They interact with other people.  They work hard at learning, and they're able to articulate what they've learned for the benefit of others.  Then they turn around and  share this information - only they don't share it in a proud way, but in kindness and in clarity for the benefit of the hearer.  More than any of this, each of these three men have pursued a relationship with the Lord.  At some point in their lives, they decided that the Scriptures, the word of God, are most important.  They decided the principles of the Word are the principles meant to guide their lives.  I believe that's the decision that affected all their other pursuits.

Originally (and I started this post months ago. never happy with how I was writing), I wasn't going to post their names.  For one reason, I don't want to embarrass these guys (😏) but I'm also not sure I can give them a proper description!!  But, I've changed my mind today.

The first Great Man in my life is my dad - Mike Harrison.  A man steeped in the word of God. A man who decided to walk with the Lord as a young man.  I recently read Psalm 15

"Lord, who may go and find refuge and shelter in your tabernacle up on your holy hill?

  Anyone who leads a blameless life and is truly sincere.

  Anyone who refuses to slander others, does not listen to gossip, 

never harms his neighbor, speaks out against sin, 

criticizes those committing it, 

commends the faithful followers of the Lord, 

keeps a promise even if it ruins him, 

does not crush his debtors with high interest rates, 

and refuses to testify against the innocent despite the bribes offered him - 

such a man shall stand firm forever."

These verses describe my dad.  A man who got up early every morning to read the Bible and empty himself each day.  Who set the example of how to live a humble life while taking seriously the call to "be holy as I am holy" (I Peter 1:16)  I've never met anyone else with such a capacity for forgiveness and love.  He's a happy helper who goes where the need is.  He is capable and uses those gifts to better his family, his friends, and virtual strangers.

The second "Great Man" is my high school history teacher who not only taught us about the past, but spent his weekends preparing for and teaching us about the truth of the Bible.  He is someone who understands both literature and sociology, as well as the beauty of creation.  Amazingly, he is then able to draw that understanding out of his students - and anyone who will listen - basically, he explains himself well.  A true teacher.  Who not only cares about what's on his agenda, but also what's on the hearts of those he's teaching.  Who demands excellence without becoming demeaning.  Who watches out for those around him and desires God's best for the Church and God's people.  This is someone who sets the example and is not so proud that he doesn't see his own mistakes.  He reacts the way all of us should be - seeking true forgiveness in the Lord, not thinking too highly of ourselves.  This is why he is great.  His first desire is to honor the Lord, whatever that takes.  I Peter sums up the heart of this man (as far as I can tell):

"Friends, this world is not your home, so don't make yourselves cozy in it.  Don't indulge your ego at the expense of your soul... Make the Master proud of you...Treat everyone you meet with dignity.  Love your spiritual family... [Christ] suffered everything that came his way so you would know that it could be done...They called him every name in the book and he said nothing back.  He suffered in silence, content to let God set things right...Now you're named and kept for good by the Shepherd of your souls... Summing up: Be agreeable, be sympathetic, be loving, be compassionate, be humble.  That goes for all of you, no exceptions.  No retaliation.  No sharp-tongued sarcasm.  Instead, bless - that's your job, to bless."

The third Great Man is my husband.  He is certainly not a typical husband, or rather, not what today's woman would call an ideal man.  What do you like your husband to do for you? I like my husband to spend time with me.  I like him to complement me and not just the way I look or what I've done in the house.  I like when he complements me on what I know; how I respond to situations; or reaffirming the things that are important to me.  I like when my husband shows an equal or a more vested interest in the needs of a person than I do.  When he cares about their hurts, their desires, their fears - and then he prays about those things. 

Of the things listed, I don't get a lot of time with him.  He doesn't seem to miss that.  I don't get a lot of kind words that say "I see what you're doing" or "I understand how you're feeling".  There has been a long time where I have resented that about him.  I had forgotten what to see because I was looking too hard.  Recently, though, I was able to sit with my husband while he prayed in a group of people.  His prayer was deep and affirming; praying words to bring life and hope to a hurting world.  He has a working and real relationship with the Lord.  He understands what the Bible says about who God is and wants to understand more.  On another day, I was listening to someone talk about my husband.  They talked about how smart he is and how wise - that he understands things the average person doesn't.  As I listened to this person talk about my husband, I realized that he's not only able to understand these things, he's able to explain them to those of us who don't get it.  So I started observing him.  I noticed my husband interact with our sixth grade son.  Making particular note that there is so much understanding between them (and there has to be because the rest of us are girls!)  He is respectable; a leader.  He can interact in the real world in a way that draws people to the person of Jesus Christ - and he is respected still!! He cares that we walk with the Living God with an open and honest relationship.   This is why he is great.  This is why I am blessed.

In Philippians, Paul says, "Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving side by side for the faith of the gospel, and not frightened in anything by your opponents... Let your reasonableness be known to all men."

Pride of Life

Thinking about pride today -
Thinking about the phrase "power corrupts" - wondering why people are drawn to that prideful spirit in a certain political figure in the news right now.  It makes me feel sick inside to listen to him. Praying for God to bring up a humble man who can lead with wisdom.

Turning my thoughts to Moses. He was under constant criticism yet obviously well loved.  Loved not just by the people but by God Himself. He was a meek man, the Bible says.  I can't imagine him holding his rod over the Red Sea to part in timidity.  So meekness must not equal a timid spirit. So I wonder how to be a humble servant like Moses or like George Washington.  Or even like the French King Louis IX.  We don't always think of the French as having humble kings.  The images of the French monarchy are usually of Versailles or Marie Antoinette in all their excesses.  But Louis IX was the monarch in the mid-13th century.  He was known for his humbleness and his generosity.  There are stories of him kissing the hands of lepers as he passed them in the streets.  That may be an exaggeration, but he is well-known for his generosity to the poor and the sick, his devotion to God, and his humility.

Thinking about pride in our own lives.  All the posters on Facebook "2016 - the year Americans were offended by everything".  Why do we allow ourselves to be so offended? It's our pride.  Our need to be right and by default, you're wrong.  It's present in my own heart.  And I see it all around me - while driving, at the grocery store, waiting in line for coffee - on social media - and worst of all in our conversations at church.


My "heart language" of the Bible is from the King James version because those are the verses I memorized as a child.  So I close with this verse I've known since I was young.  "Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves." (Philippians 2:3)
           or think of it this way:
"If you've gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care - then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends.  Don't push your way to the front; don't sweet-talk your way to the top.  Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage.  Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand."

Grace and Love

I'm out of my depth.  There is so much going on that I don't know how to move forward.

I remember doing this better than I am now right now.  Even in this, I know God has called me and He doesn't make mistakes.  I was recently reminded of a Frederick Buechner post where he marveled that "God recruited so many lamebrains and misfits and nitpickers and holier-than-thou's and stuffed shirts and odd ducks and ego maniacs and milquetoasts..." We all have this idea how someone else "should" be doing something - should be responding - should be ministering - should be handling - But God has created us all with different personalities, and His purpose will be accomplished while He is glorified in our uniqueness.  So the stuff shirt won't do things the same way as the milquetoast, but that is ok!
And when it comes down to it, we'll all answer to God for the "how".  So I need to keep my heart in check. I, too, marvel how God has accomplished anything on this earth when He has us to work with!!  I'm so humbled and grateful God wants to use this odd duck.

Grace and Love
We get it - let's extend it!!

It's Cassia's first Birthday!!

Make an invite card

"The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part...And he also had seven sons and three daughters. The first daughter he named Jemimah, the second [Cassia] and the third Keren-Happuch. Nowhere in all the land were there found women as beautiful as Job’s daughters, and their father granted them an inheritance along with their brothers." (Job 42:12-15)

We cannot thank God enough for all the blessings he has given us over this past year.  My favorite thing is to see God's people responding to his prodding in blessing other people. We have been well-loved this year.  I don't think there is a family on this planet who is more grateful for the great love being shown to us by so many people.  

Here is now our last "first birthday".  It is our tradition to invite the people who have invested in our family during this first year of life.  A way to say thank you for all you've done.  This is a special day for us, and we hope so much you can attend!!

Back To School

Every year going to school is greeted with anticipation.  It wasn't until recently I realized how much, and yet how VERY LITTLE, these two superheroes have changed.  The last four years of first day pictures:

As Sara said, "God has brought me laughter..." He certainly has brought life and laughter to our family! May God bless their endeavors that whatever they set their minds to, they would flourish.

the Lord is Gracious

Here is a post of praise.  A post from a grateful heart.  From a heart that wonders at the way God gently brings us, guides us, into His plan and purpose.  I had given over my concept of an ideal family life years ago.  When you're married to someone intent on making it on his own, life won't be predictable.
But my heart still wanted my ideal family. Yearned.  Longed for.  Craved. After many years, I gave up on that as well.  No fourth baby.  Sadly, this broken heart even understood that "giving up" is not at all the same thing as "giving over" But it was all I could manage.  And I claimed that precious phrase in Hebrews 13 "be content with such things as ye have; for he has said, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you.'"  And it took some time, but at some point, I had even made peace with it.  This is our little party of five - full of sweetness and gentleness and adventure.

And then wonder of wonders.  Miracle of miracles! God gave us a new little life, little patter of feet, little smile.  There is a 6th little voice in this house who is so happy.  She fills us with joy and makes us complete.  And I think how good the Lord is.  It's a gift He's given us.  We were prepared to say - ok, God, we're a family of 5, and it's a wonderful little family.  And we love you, God! But, He said, I haven't forgotten your request.  I haven't let go of your desire.  And my timing is perfect!

There's so much innocence in a newborn.  Grandma always said you have to teach a baby everything.    "Of all God's miracles large and small, the most miraculous one of all, Is the one I thought could never be - God has given [her] to me."

And because this blog is devoted to the craziness of life - it wouldn't be complete without reminding myself that not only was she a surprise, pregnancy was so far from my thinking that we were into the second trimester before we discovered her existence.  Whatever maternity clothes,  baby clothes, and paraphernalia I had left was sold at the annual summer garage sale - while I was pregnant!! Oh my!

Even that! Even in the unknown, I am again amazed at how God gently cares for our hearts.  After the last miscarriage, I would have been a nervous wreck for 12 weeks - waiting, wondering, worrying.  Instead, He turned me to Himself - to His Word - to a summer of prayer as we waited on Him for other things in the midst of uncertainty.  By the time we discovered the pregnancy, there was no time to worry - she was past the danger point and any other "preparedness" I could have done was in God's hands.  This was all about God giving us a blessing and watching Him provide.


And so with a grateful heart, I claim and repeat:
"Delight yourself also in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Ps. 37:4


Is there ever a better time to praise the Lord then when He brings new life into this world?!  Would you thank Him today? If you've read any of my posts you know how very much this means!!

"I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord." Ps. 27:13-14

Please, Lord, I have never been eloquent

This is a rare post for me.  It is deeply personal and difficult.  As a result, it might be reminiscent of my early blog posts - meaning, a little choppy with incomplete thoughts.

Imagine that you take a trip to Sweden, or any foreign country.  You are trying to go about with your daily life; everyone is talking to you, and everyone assumes you understand what has been said to you.  But you don't understand.  You don't speak the language.  You're trying, but it's not quite sinking in.  Now, imagine that is the first 6 years of your life.  Those formative years.  You feel lost and unsure every day.
I've just described for you my son.
I have a beautiful, intelligent son who also has a learning disability.  He has struggled with a significant receptive language delay for years.  We discovered the delay when he was 3 years old.  This is deeply personal because it's heartbreaking.  He is smart.  He picks up on more then I think.  This young man, created "fearfully and wonderfully" by the hands of our Creator, should never feel inferior.  But he knows enough to know he's not meeting the standards.  And it makes him timid in new situations.  It overwhelms him with the desire to cut and run, or hide off in the corner, or under his bed covers.  He has ideas and intelligence just waiting to burst out of him, but he has difficulty grasping everything being told to him.

When he was young, and after we had discovered the language delay, the kinds of questions we would get from family was "what exactly is wrong with him?"

Excuse me - I don't think I heard you right.  What's wrong with him? your grandson?  your nephew? my son?  Ouch!

What?!

They saw a young man who didn't respond immediately when asked to do something.  A little boy who would sit with his toys for 3 minutes or so after you said "come up for dinner".  But then, if left for those minutes, he would suddenly jump up and come.  Yes, it sunk in.  But to them, they saw a child who didn't obey - ergo, there's something wrong with him.  It's true they were just trying to understand how he operates.  But it's hard on the mom  to hear how great and special the other children in the family are - and we have the one that's got "something wrong".  Ouch!

In first grade he came home with a verse to memorize.  Exodus 4:12.  It's God - I AM - speaking to Moses at the burning bush.  He tells Moses "Now go! I will be with your mouth and I will teach you what to say." Oh, then the tears came.  I claimed that verse for my son on the spot.  That same paper, with his own markings on it, is still on my cabinet.

We're in a new school this year.  A school, as it turns out, he loves.  A school with a fantastic team to work with him.   I think his speech teacher is listening.  His homeroom teacher is really more wonderful than I imagined was possible.  His special education teacher is completely going the extra mile.  I'm so grateful to them.  But, there's that warning light flashing, and it makes me want to wrap my arms around my son to ward off the darts.  I'm uneasy and disheartened by the Vice Principal and her preconceived ideas about him.  It is exhausting to have to say the same things over and over again.  Is anybody listening?

About the first week of school he was asked to give a speech in front of his class.  No big deal.  Tell the class about yourself.  Easy, right?

Oh no! my heart screamed.  

Followed immediately by - did he just see the look on my face?
My insides seized and cramped up as I looked over the assignment.  What is he going to say?

And then a familiar verse crept into my heart "Go! I will teach you what to say"

YHWH - I AM - will teach my son what to say.
This is an excerpt of one of his practice speeches